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Funny Math Jokes

Pi to i: Get real!
i to Pi: Get rational!

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

Q: What did the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!

Q: Why was six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate nine!

Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?
A: A Mobius strip club.

Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra.

Q: What's a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

Q: What is the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"?
A: Natural log cabin + c = houseboat.

Q: What is the shortest mathematician's joke?
A: Let epsilon be smaller than zero.

Q: Why mathematicians are afraid drive a car?
A: Because the width of the road is negligible compared to its length.

Funny Math Quotes and Puns

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't.

Mathematicians never die, they only lose some of their functions!

Do you know that 87.166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed?

The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again.

Math and alcohol don't mix. Don't drink and derive!

5 out of every 4 people have a problem with fractions.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.

At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphing calculator. According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

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