The Road Geek Test

Are you a road geek?
Is there life west of the Hudson River?
Can you pass this test?

We made this test to see if you're as good as us when it comes to making important driving decisions. If you're good enough, and you're smart enough, you might just qualify. So give it all you got. This is the Road Geek Test.

(Please note that this is JUST FOR FUN, that is, for amusement purposes only!)

1.) What is a function of a milepost?
To advertise the sale of miles
To point out the location of a trading post
To check your frequent flyer miles
To see how far along the road you've gone
To round up hitchhikers

2.) If you're travelling on I-40 and you see a sign for I-15, what state are you in?
Texas
California
New York
Mexico
Drunkenness

3.) On the road, what does the term "multiplex" refer to?
A movie theater
Multiple levels of roadway
More than one route following the same path
Multiple lanes of traffic
More than one plex

4.) Which state does not number any of their exits by milepost?
Illinois
Indiana
Ohio
Pennsylvania
New York

5.) Where does money come from, to repair an interstate highway?
Paula Jones
Newt Gingrich
State Government
U.S. Government
FunnyWebsite.com

6.) Which road is colloquially known as "The Mother Road"?
The Illinois Tollway
U.S. 66
U.S. 20
I-80
Your Mother

7.) A tree falls in the road, over the Palisades Parkway. How many men are dispatched to get that tree off the parkway?
Eleventeen
Frank Rizzo
Sandy Kofax
15 minutes
None of the above (You're forgetting the answers!)

8.) Where can you find the "World's Longest Parking Lot"?
McDonald's
Chicago
Long Island
Fire Island
Palisades Mall

9.) Which is NOT an advantage of electronic toll collection?
Less waiting at the toll booth.
Lower highway department costs.
No having to hunt for change.
Being spied on by Big Brother.
Better enforcement of proper lane speed.

10.) Is it a good idea to drink and drive?
NO!
NO!
NO!
NO!
Do you get the point?

11.) You're driving down the 405 freeway and you see a white Bronco moving at 30 mph. What do you do?
Call Johnnie Cochran
Call up FOX News
Talk on your cell phone
Get the hell away
Follow the Bronco

12.) Which of the following routes does not have an international connection? (Tricky - this one's worth double!)
I-5
I-43
I-75
I-81
I-95

13.) Which term describes a series of ramps connecting two or more highways?
Crossing
Intersection
Interchange
Sex change
Mood swing

14.) What does SPUI stand for?
Southern Pennsylvania University at Indiana
Single Point Urban Interchange
State Police Under Investigation
Saint Petersburg Uranium Industry
Super Powerful Unbelievable Italians

15.) If there is no posted speed limit on a residential side street, what should you assume the speed limit is?
55 mph
40 mph
30 mph
25 mph
No speed limit

16.) What is the best thing to do after you've been driving 24 consecutive hours?
Drive some more
Call a taxi
Let someone else drive
Relieve yourself
Sleep

17.) What would you rather listen to in the car?
Oasis
Puff Daddy
Britney Spears
Black Sabbath
Fountains of Wayne

The following questions are designed to test your critical thinking skills. You have 10 seconds to answer each one, which is a lot more than you'd have were you in a life or death situation. If you take more than 10 seconds a big blue monster will appear on your screen and make scary noises.

18.) You're driving on the interstate and you spill your drink in your lap. What is the proper thing to do?
Clean it up
Change your clothes
Ask for a refund
Live with it
Call Daaaaaaaaaaady

19.) An hour later you see two turtles in the road involved in a mating act. What do you do now?
Take pics and sell them on the Internet
Take pics and sell to the Discovery Channel
Cover your childrens' eyes
Slow down and drive around them
Run them over

20.) What's the last thing a fly sees before it hits your windshield?
Your windshield wipers
Your middle finger
God
Stars
The body in the back seat

21.) You have your arm outside the window, and you accidentally smack off a mailbox. What do you do?
Pick it up and bring it with you
Return it to its rightful owner
Take the mail and then return the box
Take the box and send back the mail via mail
GET OFF THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!

22.) A group of Hell's Angels appears in your rearview mirror. How do you handle the situation?
Pull over to the side of the road.
Speed up.
Stop and ask for an autograph.
Stop and share tattoos with them.
Get out your membership card.

23.) You gotta use the bathroom real bad, but there's no rest area for miles. What to do?
Pull over to the side of the road
Stick your privates out the window
Complain
Drive like a freaking maniac
Do what ya gotta do

24.) You run out of gas. A station is one mile ahead.
Walk to the station, buy a gallon of gas in a container, and walk back with the gallon. Then drive to the gas station.
Call a tow truck.
Hitchhike to the gas station.
Pull over to the side and patiently wait for a police officer.
Call Daaaaaaaaaaady.

25.) You've got a dead body in your back seat, and three live Mexicans in your trunk. You see sirens behind you. What is your next action?
Do nothing, they're not after you.
Do nothing, they're after the Mexicans.
Do nothing, they're after the dead guy.
Race the cops to Albuquerque
Turn yourself in

 

 

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